怀容's profile土不PhotosBlogListsMore  |  Tools Help |
|
November 21 About。第一天昨天在某个时刻，找到了一直在找的资料，触发想起了这个博客，今日我决定每天记录一些关于个人心理变化的事情……
昨天是我在走“心想事成”心理计划的第51天，可是对某一件事而言，这一天是刚刚开始，那么，就让今天作为第一天，就让一切重新在这里开始。
昨天中午在祈祷的时候，发觉可以放下内心的执着，而是托付给这个世界去安排，爱咋就咋吧，咱不强求了……我不是基督教徒，也不是佛教徒，不妨碍我相信祈祷，就像我相信《金刚经》一样，尽管看不是很明白，相信有一天会以一种最好的方式让我明白、
今天坐在车上，看着外面明媚的天空，心里却在对话：
这是真的吗？你确定这一切都是如你所想的那样？
我不确定……
我就是觉得他应该是这样的，有爱人，或者是女朋友之类的吧……反正就是不要爱我就对了。
为什么你觉得他得是这样？
你不要这么咄咄逼人好不好！！烦死了……
因为这样我觉得比较安全和自在。
你在怕什么？
我在怕重蹈覆辙，怕会失去自我，怕有不好的经历……过去那些经历让我对感情感到害怕。
你想知道真相吗？
说吧……
你内心那个小孩依然坚持爱是一切隔离、怨恨及痛苦的原因，她宁死也不要爱……这跟你喜欢的人是否喜欢你，一点关系也没有啊！你觉得是别人不喜欢你还是你选择了别人不要喜欢你？
是我要别人不要喜欢我，我就是不要爱……
你在怕什么？
我怕再次经历之前的感受，很不好受，似乎一个黑洞一样，怎么挣脱也挣不开，放不下又提不起，觉得自己很没用，很糟糕、失败……
你的意思是说不想再感受到自己失败和糟糕，对吧？
可以这么说。
你觉得会有同样的感受吗？
不会有的，每天都在变，怎么可能会有同样的感受呢，只能说是相似吧……其实后来经历的那几段并没有那么深刻，只是那种感觉依然觉得不好。
怀容，你知道我想到了什么吗？我想，你自己也想到了……
火中莲的博客上提到的那段话……
是啊，没有更多的钱、没有更大的成就、没有人爱我，没有足够的性满足，我还不是活得好好的……
需要这些东西不是因为这些东西本身，而是因为如果别人有钱有事业有人爱有性满足，而我没有，说明我没本事，没能力，没吸引力，没有魅力，没人疼爱，我害怕自己就这么没有价值，我害怕被人知道我不被欣赏，我怕的是自己没有面子，怕自己不如别人，怕被人比下去，怕自己真的成为一个失败者，怕自己失去社会地位，我怕失去那个我过得很好，我很有价值，我是社会精英的身份标签。
呵……我恐惧的是我自己的严重无价值感。
亲爱的，你自己说出答案了哦……
我现在舒服多了，其实我也知道，当你说爱或者不爱我，这关我什么事呢？那是你的感受，我的快乐或者不快乐才是我的事啊……却一直把注意力放在你的身上，我能做什么呢？你的感受我控制也体会不到，我唯一能控制就是我自己啊……
是的，很容易就陷入多管闲事的圈子里。
你问我怕吗？其实我还是害怕的、无助和匮乏感依然存在，我现在可以做到恐惧和平静共存，不消灭任何一个情绪，允许它们存在……最重要的是，我坚信无论在何时何地，你都会与我同在。
是的，亲爱的，无论你是否快乐和不快乐，有没有找到理想伴侣，有没有事业有成……我都永远与你同在和无条件的爱你：）
谢谢你……
这是我在坐车时的一段自我对话，记忆依然深刻。 moving on our wayhear a song called Moving On Our Way~~~~~~~~` March 14 Internet and Education3The Internet classes and courses are also very convenient because there are no physical restrictions as in conventional education like space and time limitations.
First,in classroom-based education there is a limitation on the number of students that are allowed in each class while Internet education is available to everyone because a classroom is not an issue there.
Students don't have to struggle in order to register for the classes they like.
In addition,there i no time imitation so students can repeat exercises as many times as they need.
Education will spread out more and more online and students will have more choices on how and when to take their coures and classes.
They will easily be able to take the clases they want and repeat material on the Internet as many tmies as they need.
The Internet is a wonderful opportunity to have a good time but also to learn something in a convenient and less expensive way.
In my opinion online life in the future is simply inescapble. Internet and Education2Not long ago we used to go to the library every time we needed information and spent hours searching for the right sources.
Today there is a "library"in our house and it is available 24 hours a day.
From my personal experience,as a first time mother,I found that using information online is very helpful.
While I am at houme with my baby,I am still able to connect to the world and search for any educational materials I need.
I am also able to exchange thoughts,opinions and information with my classmates without leaving my house.
The Internet is not only a big information provider but also saves us money and time.
People are predicting that education will be much cheaper in the future because of Internet access to information.
The cost of lang,buildings and wages for techaers are continuously increasing and that makes conventionsal education more expensive than online education.
In addition,regular courses depend heavily on books and other traditional paper-based materials while online education posts lectures,notesm,and assignments electronically and that saves thousands of dollars every year.
There is also no need for the classroom itself because most programs online require prticipation in discussion and guoup projects via e-mail.
March 13 Internet and EducationEducation plays a very important role in everybody's life.
We go to school because we want to know more about the world around us and at the same time extend our horizons of thinking.
The typical classroom used to be the place where teachers and students were working and exploring the wonderful world of knowledge together,but now everything has changed.
Technology is taking over those interactions and introducing us to a whole new approach of learning.
The Internet is one of those approaches.
Learning via the Internet is a new style that many people believe is more successful than the conventional form of teaching.
The Internet allows schools to develop a large amount of learning material that is accessible for students online anytime.
There are so many choices of courses and subjects or time frames that completing a program is not an issue for students anymore.
We found that online education gives us excellent sources of information,saves our time,money and it is extremely convenient. Study OnlineThe Internet is really an ocean of niformation and a handy tool for communication.
You can find almost anything you want.
Google.com,for example,may serve you just fine.
You can also communicate with whomever you wish online.
If you want to explore cloning technology,find a discussion group;if yoiu want to share opinions on how to improve your English,post a query on BBS or enter a chatroom.
Many colleges and millions of students are now taking advantage online learning programs.
Peter Drucker predicted,"Thirty years from now the big university campuses will be relics...It's as large a change as when we first got the printed book." March 12 Wish for the Freshman Year(2)As I walk down the familiar routes on campus,I find myself doing a lot of soul-searching and reminiscing.
I find myself wanting to start all over again and rcapture the fun and excitement of my college days.
I have been panicking at the ider of graduating.
I have been going to school for as long as I can remember,and I feel like there is so much more that I want to learn,but instead I have to graduate.
The world is enormous and the possibilities are endless.
For the past four years I have been surrounded with a safety net.
The student status has been a somewhat comforting feeling,giving me an escape from the realities of the world outside.
With less than two weeks left of school,I'm getting a queasy feeling deep down every time I think about the fact that I'm going to be graduating.
For as long as I can remember ,I have been a student.
I feel like I'm living in denial about graduating.
Every time I get asked about what I'm going to do after college I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs.
I don't nkow what I want to do with the rest of my life.
It's too difficult to even contemplate the idea that soon I will be waking up in the mornings and not have a class to which I should be going.
On a recent interview,I was asked,"Is this the profession you want for the rest of your life?"
I was amused and almost laughed at the question,but I gave an honest answer.
I don't know what the future holds.
During the last four years I have changed my mind so many times,the idea of a lifetime commitment t a certain job seems like torture.
Walking on campus in the middle of the night I realize how much I will miss my college days.
Every little thing seems so much more beautiful.
And every little thing makes me realize how wonderful and special my college experience has been.
I will cherish these days forever as I reluctantly close the doors on my college life.
Wish for the Freshman Year(1)After four years,the time has come.
In less than two weeks,I will have graduated.
I look back now and I can't believe how fast it all went.
I can still remember the first day of classes,looking on the map on the back of the Schedule of Classes and asking where the classroom building was.
Now I'm senior,looking at freshmen with envy.
Every day I wish I could freeze time and make the next two weeks to more slowly.
I know a lot of people who can't wait to graduate,but for me it's the opposite.
I want to turn back time instead and cherish every day of my college experience once again.
For me,college has been a great learning experience,and most of the learning process has taken place outside of the classroom.
My sophomore year of college was perhaps the most remarkable year of my life.
This was the year that I finally convinced my mom that I was going to be OK living on campus,and she finally let me go.
This was the year that I made some lifelong friends and through many triumphs and failures I came to know more about myself .
My sophomore year involved experimenting with new things,such as camping in mountains,attempting to present some lousy poems to newspapers and drawing cartoons of my teachers in class.
My Most Memorable ExaminationI'll tell you a true story.
When I was a sophomore Ihad a very hard organic chemistry class.
I studied all night before the final examintion,hoping to memorize all formulas for the chemicals and all the difficult terms.
Soon after I started to do the paper I fell fast asleep at my desk.
The teacher did not wake me up until the end of the examination.
Of course，I had to repeat the class the next semester. college lifeHi,welcome to out college.
You will spend at least four years here.
College days will be the golder time in your life.
There are many opportunities for you to expore the unknown and you can experience a lot.
You can make lifelong friends;you can enjoy various kinds of activities;you can develop your personal interests;and you will meet some outstanding scholars.
Keep a good balance and lay a solid foundation.
There are many doors to your dreams.
You decide how many you can open. March 10 how to pass ithow to pass the exame?
I ask myself.
The answer is let it be.
The fact I am so worry about it.
But also I know that worry is nothing to help me do with it.
February 24 Looking for Mr.Right(11)Here's the botom line.If you are true to yourself and can love yourself for who you are,then other people will love you for who you are too and will treat you accordingly.
And by pursuing your dreams with passion,yuo will appreciate the real you.
When you run into this lucky individual,you'll know it was meant to be.
(Hint:If you kiss him and it feels like your lipshave been molested by a giant lemon,he ain't the one.)
The sound of Mr.Right's voice will make you feel dizzy with desire.
You'll go weak at the knees when yu see him.(And so will he.)
In his eyes you will always be glamorous and beautiful.
He will be someone you can grow old with (gracefully or otherwise.)
Someone who will show you exactly how true love is meant to feel.
This is not a summer fantasy;this is reality.
And what's more,you deserve it!
Not because you're the most graceful butterfly in the garden,but simply because you're you,and you're pretty damnfabulous!
At the end of the day,it's your party.
Enjoy it! Looking for Mr.Right(10)There has never been a better time to be a woman in the history of the planet than right now.
You can do whatever you want.
Women are smashing through age-oldbarriers in every conceivable facet of life.
They are having more fun making and breaking tules than ever before.
And what's more,scientific studies show that kickingmale chauvinist butt actually reduces cellulite!
Whether it's qualifications ,adventure,career,men,or money,you can have aas much a you want.
Hey,if you can visualizeit--you can have it!
So why wait helplessly for the fate train to run you over?
Start your engines ladier,the world is yours.
Heed the spirit of those who went before you:"Attack,attack,attack!"
Get out there and take what's yours.
Looking for Mr.Right(9)You only have one life to live,and the clock is ticking.
You can't afford to answer the door for every creep who comes knocking,you don't have time to chase men who aren't worth catching,and you certainly shouldn't be fighting over them.
You should leave that sort of unseemly and childish display to men,who have nothing better to do.
But no mater what happens in your relationships,you must never forget that falling down and getting back up again is a part of life.
Even more importantly,you must never forget that only you are responsible for your happoness.
No other person is necessary to complete you .
Think back to the times when you were truly happy--to when you felt you could do or be anything you wanted.
Well,nothing has changed.
The world is still the same wonderful place it was when you were a litle girl.
The only difference is now you are old enough,smart enough,confident enough,and strong enough to take on any challenge that life wants to throw at you and to realize your dreams on your terms.
Looking for Mr.Right(8)Anyway,no one can really see into the future ,and anyone who says they someone can is not whom you would like to be stuck next to on a long international flight.
Of course,women who focus on style over substance eventually find what they want:a devilishly handsome man who is oh-so-smooth and sophisticated,is built like an ancient god,and is not afraid to cry during old movies.
In short,an absolute angel.
There''s just one itsy-bitsy problem....
And if you think finding out that Santa Claus is really just a fat old man with a hairy bottom and a fake beard was a horrific surprise,just wait till you come home to find your boyfriend trying on your underwear with his"squash buddy."
This merely serves to remind us once again how important it is to listen to that little voice inside your head when it says"MR.WRONG!"
It's way too late when he starts that old "it's not you ,it's me"waffle,or you accidentally stumble across some unusual snapshots from his overeas"business trip."
As a side note,if your man is unfaithful you can always hire a professiona thug to rearrange his features,and,for an additiona fee, jam a walking stick up his butt.
Of course,there is only one known cure for infidelity.
Seriously,though,if a man doesn't measure up you should take immediate action.
February 23 Looking for Mr.Right(7)When such important principles are overlooked,a woman will try far too hard to impress her date ,which can only create unrealistic expectations for future outings and be injurious to her health and reputation.
One of the keys to a successful relationship is knowing what you're looking for--you might not have room in your life for a man right now.
But wven if you don't know what you want,you should acknowledge that and go on from there.
(Men don't know what they want either,but they don't even know that they don't know.This id clearly not a good platform to build a relationship on.)
When you are evaluating a potential"Mr.Right"candidate,the lnly important questions are about how you feel.Do you feel special?
Do you feel loved and respected?
D you feel that the relationship is bringing ou your best?
Too often women get bogged down on incidental issues,like"What is his mother like?"
"How would we look going out together?"and"How many relationships has he been in?"
Wondering about such abstruse hypotheticals like "What kind of father would he be?"and "How might he look in fifty years?"are really just a form of self-inflicted mental abuse.
So forget about the past or the distant future.There is no way to reveal your destiny other than to make it turn out the way you want it to.
Looking for Mr.Right(6)Even if we could build a "perfect man"from scratch,he would still have flaws.
You must embrace this fact if you wish to stay sane.
Men have a perversely simple sexual agenda that can best be described as an overwhelming blend of vanity and urgency.
"Hey,look at me."
"Look at me!"
"Look at meeeeeeeeeeee!!!"
It's not uncommon for a young woman with low self-esteem to find this superficial display both intoxicating and compelling.
Without thinking,she dives ringht in to the fray with an equally superficialresponse.
She begins to fret about her appearance rather than focus on her many outstanding qualities as an intelligent human being.
"Will he think I'm sexy enough?"
"Will he find me wholesome enough?"
"Is he allergic to feathers?"
Such concerns are demeaning and detract from what really makes a woman attractive--confidence,intelligence,charisma,purpose,dignity,and a relaxed sense of self.
Looking for Mr.Right(5)Right from birth there is a small but crucial difference between men and women that becomes more obvious and intrusive later in life.
(No,it's not that.If it were,a simple modification would solve all your problems.)
It's that men have a reduced mental capacity that warps their perception of reality and ability to reason.
They have a terribly deluded sense of self-inportance,which makes it very difficult for them to interact with more intelligent life-forms.
In layman's terms,as a species,men are simply not as evolved as women.
This is obviously the cause of the painfully backward male attitude toward relationships,which I'm pleased to say has gradually been refined over the last million years,although there is still substantial room for improvement.
What men desperately need are good male role models.
Sadly,there are none.
Looking for Mr.Right(4)In your heart you know how life is supposed to turn out.
We've all seen how Mother Nature brings two creatures together in the right place at the right time.
They then fall madly in love and live happily ever after.
And so you ask yourself:"If a penguin can have a worthwhile,stimulating relationship,why the hell can't I?"
Or maybe you ask yourself:"Would I be happier if I started dating a penguin?"
This might sound like a stupid question until you wake up and realize that men and women do not always form the natural union you've been led to believe.
And thus,in some cases a woman needs a man like a bear needs a bicycle (or is it"like a fish needs a snlwmobile").
Anyway,the point is that men and women are essentially different species,which is why it can be so hard for them to stay together.
|
|
|
